Fathers play a crucial role in the family, and should therefore be encouraged and allowed to carry out their duties in the home with the support of the family.

Fatherhood can be demanding for those who really want to do a good job. Any man can donate sperm, but not every man can be a father. It takes dedication, commitment and a selfless heart to be a good father.

However, without the support of those closest to us  – our family, it could be quite demotivating.

This article therefore looks into how our wives and family members can make our jobs as protectors, providers and priests easy; and make us feel celebrated and special! 

1.    Encouragement – we all need some encouragement, and fathers could do with a lot of this from wives and children. Encouragement helps us to go an extra mile especially when things are tough. Words of encouragement would go a long way, but actions even speak louder than voice! Your behaviour towards us motivates us and shows that you appreciate our efforts.

2.    Respect – There are two things men crave – love and respect. Respecting fathers as the head of the home allows and empowers us to take the leadership mantle in the family. A man who is not respected in his home would not be bold enough to stand in the gap for his family. When a man is not respected by the wife, unfortunately the children pick up this cue and become disrespectful towards their father. It affects our ego, and makes us doubt our leadership ability. Treat us as kings in the castle (home), and we will rise up to be who we should be.

3.    Honesty & Truthfulness – We thank God for the graceful and wonderful wives God has placed in our lives as helpmeets and we know beside every good and successful man is a good woman. Thank you for being there for us. As husbands we need your support so we are well informed to make good decisions for the family. We need objective facts and counsel so we can function in our roles effectively. For fathers to be able to provide good discipline, we need you to be truthful and honest about issues and matters arising in the family. There should be no surprises regarding our children’s upbringing and we should collaboratively raise them to be who God has called them to be. Misinformation leads to poor judgement and bad decisions – please  keep us informed about what is going on in the home.

4.    Love and appreciation – When you are appreciated for what you do, you feel obliged to put in your best. Love and appreciation can be shown in various ways from telling us we are valued and loved for who we are, what we do and when we do things you love. A man of God recently revealed on a radio broadcast that no matter the number of accolades a man receives outside or at work, the wife’s accolade is what they really crave. Good fathers make the choice to care and provide for their families even when it is not really convenient; they chose to sacrifice their lives for their families, marriages and children even when it is not the popular option. We want to know you notice and appreciate what we do, otherwise it would seem our efforts are futile. Appreciation can be shown through words of affirmation, kind acts of service such as helping us with something significant, through touch – massages, cuddles, hugs and kisses; for some a little gift would be more meaningful, and others it is spending quality time with us especially when we are at our lowest or weakest physically or emotionally.

5.    Pray for us – We need your prayers. As priests over our households, we do come under attack and could be vulnerable. The role of a father as a provider could be overwhelming at times. We need your prayers for renewal of physical, mental and spiritual strength so we could carry out our duties diligently. Fathers also need wisdom and discernment to govern the affairs of the home. We cannot rely on our own ability, but on the Holy Spirit for guidance and direction. Pray that more grace be multiplied to us daily.

Finally, can we reiterate that fathers want to be empowered and supported to lead in the home as originally ordained by God’s divine order. A celebrated King would always rise to the occasion of defending and providing for his subjects. Focus on our strengths and not our weaknesses! Seek to bring out the best in us – speak to the king in us and not the child. Correct us in love and with respect when we make mistakes. Reaffirm us over and over again and we would be the best husbands and dads you very much desire and rightfully deserve.